If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
they need to just BURY HIM!
someone owes me an orgasm
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize