He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
