In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
