I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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