I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
