I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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