He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize