What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
