I wish i was in the wii world.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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