Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
