Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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