Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
