I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
