I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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