just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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