so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize