porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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