Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
