apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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