dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
