Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
