JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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