I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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