I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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