SEEEEXXX PLEASE
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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