Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
