actually, I'm a sock model
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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