We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
