DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize