I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
