Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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