it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
