wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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