you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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