I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Boobs are out for the taking
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
