What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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