Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
