WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
She announced her abortion via fbk
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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