suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
