You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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