I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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