My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
