did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
