Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
