I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
