i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
