I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
