i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
