Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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