It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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