I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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