i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
