The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
