Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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