My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
