my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
