He kissed a someone with a penis
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize