You smell like stripper and shame
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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