So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize