you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize