What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
