Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
