What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize