? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize