i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
