she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
