So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
