I got chris browned last night
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
