I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
