Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
