small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
