these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
