Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
